What is IPV?

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is any behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship, including acts of physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviours.

• Physical Abuse – hitting, slapping, hair pulling, sexual assault, physical restraint/holding in place, locking out of the house, refusal to help if injured/ sick, refusing to allow someone to leave (i.e., blocking the door, putting your body in the way), etc.
• Property Abuse – destroying shared property, or someone else’s property
• Emotional Abuse – threats of harm or violence, yelling, screaming, name-calling, put-downs, and controlling behaviours, such as:
  • Needing to know where someone is at all times
  • Limiting/ preventing access to friends and family
  • Controlling what someone eats
• Sexual Abuse – rape, unwanted sexual contact/touching, ignoring expressions of discomfort or unease, incest, sexual abuse of minors, anti-gendered sexual jokes and demeaning comments. Can be difficult to recognize when this happens in a relationship.
• Financial Abuse – controlling finances and expenses, limiting access to one’s money, taking away pay cheques, spending money that is not their own without permission, putting large joint purchases only in their name (car purchases, apartment/housing agreement, etc.), refusal to pay child support.
• Coercive control – a strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism used to instill fear. The abuser will use tactics, such as limiting access to money or monitoring all communication, as a controlling effort. Here are some signs of coercive control:
  • isolation from one’s support systems (moving away from family, restricting access to friends, monitoring phone and social media use, fabricating lies about others, convincing one that their family hates them etc
  • monitoring one’s activity throughout the day (installing surveillance apps/ placing GPS tracking devices without one’s consent, using cameras/recording devices at home, including private areas like bedroom/bathroom)
  • denying one freedom/autonomy (not allowing to go to school or work, restricting access to transportation, controlling every move, taking one’s phone away, changing passwords/deleting contact info)
  • gaslighting (convincing one that they are wrong/overthinking, manipulating and guilting to get their way and convince one that they are wrong)
  • name-calling and put-downs
  • limiting one’s access to money (establishing a strict budget that barely covers essentials, limiting access to banking accounts, hiding financial resources, not allowing one to have a credit card, rigorously monitoring)
  • turning one’s children against them
  • ontrolling aspects of one’s health and body (how much one sleeps, eats, or spends time in the bathroom; control medication intake, limiting access to physician or nurse, controlling one’s reproductive health and rights
  • making jealous accusations
  • regulating one’s sexual relationship (demanding sex a certain amount of times a day/week, regulating activities one performs, demanding to take explicit photos/videos; refusing to wear a protection/get tested for STIs
  • threatening one’s children/pets (including violent comments, threats to call social services, threats of kidnapping  etc)

• If you are in immediate danger call 911 for help
• If you want more information on determining if you are experiencing abuse, or about leaving your abusive situation, call 250-479-3963
• Create a safety plan/escape plan