Safety First
Women and children in abusive relationships are at increased risk for violence when they disclose the abuse or leave the relationship. It is important to have a well-developed safety plan.
Whether you’re in a violent relationship, planning to leave immediately, or not planning to leave at all, there are several ways to increase your safety and that of your children.
Creating a safety plan involves identifying action steps to increase safety and preparing in advance for the possibility of further violence.
Since abusive situations and risk factors can change quickly, it is recommended that you become familiar with and review or revise your safety plan regularly. It is very important that your violent partner not find out about your safety plan.
Remember that your safety and the safety of your children matter the most!
Keep important documents in an easily accessible, safe place in case you need to leave quickly. Make copies and keep the copies in a separate place from the originals (e.g. at your friend’s or family member’s, with a lawyer, in a safety deposit box).
- Passports, birth certificates, Indian/First Nations status cards, BCID, citizenship papers, immigration papers, permanent resident or citizenship cards for all family members
- Driver’s license and registration
- Work permits
- Divorce papers, custody documentation, court orders, restraining orders, marriage certificate
- Lease/rental agreement, house deed, mortgage payment book
- Bank information, account numbers, safety deposit key
- Copies of all cards you normally use: e.g. credit cards, bank cards, phone, Social Insurance Number
- Medications, prescriptions, medical records for all family members
Keep all the cards you normally use in your wallet. Keep your wallet and purse handy and containing the following:
- Car/house/work keys
- Credit/debit cards
- Emergency money (in cash) hidden away
- What routes you can take to get out
- Numbers of those who you can call for help
- Teach your child(ren) how to dial 911 and what information they need to give (their full name, address, phone number and how to ask for help)
- It is important for children to leave the phone off the hook after they are done talking. The police may call the number back if they hang up, which could create a dangerous situation for yourself and your child/children.
- If you have neighbours you trust, ensure your children know they are safe people to go to in an emergency.
- If you are planning to leave, plan to take your children with you. You will not be able to take your children after you’ve left without a court order or agreement from the other parent.
- Pick a safe place to meet your children, out of the home, after the situation is safe for you and for them (so you can easily find each other).
- Teach your children the safest route to the planned place of safety for them.
Plan and rehearse an emergency exit. Think about all the steps necessary to take when you need to leave on short notice.
- What routes you can take to get out
- Who you can call for help
- What is important to take with you (medications, documents, IDs, health cards, marriage certificates, divorce papers, custody documentation, other legal documents)
In case you have to leave quickly, keep the following items handy:
- Identification for yourself and your children (Driver’s license, service card, passport, permanent resident documentation, birth certificate, work permits, SIN etc.)
- Medications
- Money/bank cards
- Keys (house, car, work)
- Clothes for you and your children
- Comfort toys for children
Know how to turn off the GPS location on your phone and your vehicle if/when you leave:
If possible, keep some belongings at a friend/family member’s home if you have to leave your own home on short notice.
If you are planning to leave, plan to take your children with you. You will not be able to take your children after you’ve left without a court order or agreement from the other parent.
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Leaving an abusive relationship? Call 250-479-3963