By Marlene Goley, Manager of The Cridge Transition House and Outreach Services

Imagine being 12 years old and fleeing to a transition house with your mom.  You are relieved to be away from your dad’s scary, angry outbursts. But now you are in a strange house, sharing a room with your mom, and parachuting into a new school – who knows for how long.  Everything in your world is upside down.

There is a bright spot, though.  Your new school is great, and the kids and teachers are lovely.  And – best of all, the end-of-year camping trip is coming up. Even though you’ve only been in the class for a couple of weeks, you’re invited to go along. Everyone in your class is talking about how fun it’s going to be.

What you don’t know, and don’t need to know is that because you haven’t been a part of the fundraising all year, your mom needs to pay the whole cost of the trip.  You don’t need to know that your mom has no way to come up with this kind of money, has asked CTHW for help, and thanks to the generous donors that make a small contingency fund possible, a cheque was made out and delivered to your school.  All you need to know is that you are going camping with your class, and you can join in the excitement of having some “kid fun.”

This is a small thing in your 12-year-old world filled with adult worries.  But what you’ll learn is that it’s the little things that will help you through.

To learn more about The Cridge Transition House for Women.

A few times a year we have a very special dinner with our residents – a Candlelit Dinner in December, a Mother’s Day Dinner and Valentine’s Dinner.

For these occasions, we break with the norm and order linens for the tables, flowers, chocolates for each place setting and have a menu printed up for each table.

The menu, which is always excellent, is bumped up a notch or two as well, and wine is served for those who would like it.

Everyone enjoys the extra fanfare –  staff setting the tables have fun preparing for the event, residents get dolled up in their fanciest clothes, the cooks work so hard to prepare a fantastic meal, and there is a generally festive atmosphere.  The gasps from the residents and their guests when they walk into the beautiful room are so heartwarming to hear and certainly makes all the extra work worth every second.

I received this card from a family member of a resident today: “As I was walking past the dining room, I had to smile. The tables were being set for dinner. The table settings were a marvel: homemade paper flowers and napkins in hues of pink. I know how hard you all work to involve your seniors – to give them a sense of fun, to care for their health and their spirits, and to let them know – in so many ways – that this is a special place they call home.”

A special place called home? I honestly don’t think we could do any better than that.

To learn more about The Cridge Centre Services visit cridge.org

By Joanne Linka, Manager of Communication and Fund Development

Imagine leaving your war-torn country, your extended family, your home and job – leaving it all to hope for a better life here in Canada. Imagine travelling all that way with two small children, unsure what you were travelling towards, but hoping for safety and security. Imagine struggling to learn a new language and culture, all while looking for housing, schools, and a place to belong. Imagine that a year or so later, just when life starts to feel almost normal again, you start to notice angry looks from your neighbours and a sense of animosity from your landlord. He says that your children are too noisy and that you need to look for a new place to live, in a city where there are few affordable units for a family of 5. Imagine the fear and stress – not knowing if you and your family will be homeless and insecure again.

This is a story that we have heard on more than one occasion – families facing immense stress as they try to rebuild their lives in Victoria. We see fear, isolation and hopelessness in their faces as they struggle to overcome all the barriers that are facing them. One of our families came to us with this need in November. They were desperate and afraid, not sure who to turn to for help. As we worked through the issues with them, we realized that in the midst of the stress of dealing with housing, they were not going to be able to provide a Christmas for their children.

Enter in an incredibly generous family, committed to making Christmas special for one of our families.  This family had decided to forgo giving gifts to each other, and instead provide gifts for a family in need. And provide they did! In an incredible outpouring of generosity, they bought gifts for the children and parents, gift cards for stores and services – even a gift card for a local restaurant so that mom and dad could have a date night. They came with boxes of treats and wrapping paper and bows – everything packed with love and care and words of support.

We were honoured to receive this bounty from the donor and then to pass it on to the family. It was an experience of pure joy for us to see the generosity of the donor and the immense gratitude of the family. There were tears, wonder and humble gratefulness from everyone concerned. And that is what Christmas is all about.

To become a donor click here.

By Marlene Goley, Manager of The Cridge Centre Transition House for Women

Police gave Cindy the number for Cridge Transition House for Women (CTHW) after they arrested her boyfriend for assaulting her and threatening to kill her. She came to CTHW traumatized and terrified about what her future would be.

How would she stay safe when he was released? How would she manage to support herself working a minimum wage job? Who could she turn to when all her family and friends lived far away?

CTHW staff helped her figure out a safety plan and how to take back control of her life.  Cindy found a new apartment that she could afford with the help of the Homelessness Prevention Program (HPP) funds that CTHW has to distribute.  She was inspired by another resident staying at the transition house to go back to school so she could get a better paying job.

Cindy left CTHW determined, focused and with a plan.  Beata, CTHW Outreach Worker, stayed in touch with her for ongoing support and to keep her connected to the Homelessness Prevention Program.

Cindy enrolled in a trades program.  It was a big leap of faith for her, and she was really nervous about passing her first math course.  Beata has taken on many “other duties as may be required” in her job as an Outreach Worker. This time it included being a math tutor!  It just so happens that Beata was a mathematician in her first career. Cindy aced her course!

Not only did Cindy pass at the top of her class, but she also found confidence in herself that had been buried for a long time.  She and Beata are still connected, but Cindy is feeling confident enough to forge ahead without further tutoring right now.

Cindy is safe and working towards a secure future.  We are so blessed to have been a part of this remarkable woman’s journey.

To learn more about the Cridge Transition House for Women.

By Gyneth Turner, Respite & Respitality Services

Somewhere along the line, our family stopped having fun together because it was very hard to actually have fun. Outings always seemed to end up in disappointment, tears, and tantrums. Picnic at the beach? Pass. Family birthday dinner? Sorry, we are “busy.” Check out the cool new exhibit at the museum? Yah, no.

Our oldest son has an Autism diagnosis, and my husband and I are fully committed to devoting the time, resources, and patience he needs to live his best life; we wouldn’t have it any other way. To do that we both realized that we needed a break from caregiving pretty early in our parenting journey. We did date nights twice a month, and we each took a day for ourselves once a month.  But fun together as a family seemed out of our reach. All of our attempts to do fun stuff as a family was just too much work and not much fun. All this changed after I went to a respite workshop with a friend in Seattle. The workshop leader asked us to look at respite in a new way. She challenged us to see respite not just as time away from the person we cared for, but time with them without the caregiving. She asked us to use our imaginations:

I wondered, what would it be like to go to a family dinner and not have to leave early because we pushed the envelope too hard and Evan was DONE and having a melt-down and Alex was in tears over leaving before birthday cake and presents? What would it be like to go to the Fall Fair and see both kids get to enjoy the day in the way that worked for them? What would it be like to pack a picnic, get kids ready, enjoy the day and get home all without becoming so exhausted and stressed that I wanted to cry?

I realized I was envious of families who have fun together. To me, a family who had fun together was a family who was thriving, and I saw our family as just surviving. Then the workshop leader challenged us to brainstorm how we could make our dream vision of respite possible.

Today, respite looks a lot different for our family. My husband and I still take time as a couple, and we schedule in some alone time now and then. But we both agree the best “rest” we get is fun together with our kids. We have a respite care provider, Karen, who helps us with the preparations, so we aren’t done before we’ve begun. Karen comes to family parties and helps our son manage the busy, loud environment, and if need be, takes him home early allowing us to stay longer if we want to. Last month we went to the Fall Fair, and Karen made getting ready and out of the house a breeze. We looked at the animals together, then Karen and Evan went home for a few hours of quiet time while we did the midway rides with Alex. Karen and Evan came back for dinner and some music in the evening. It was such a great day for all of us – we had FUN TOGETHER!

To learn more about Respite Services and ways to support the program click here.