We’ve had a lot of rain lately, haven’t we? I love the smell of rain! I don’t like what it does to my very curly hair. When it rains, I enjoy staying in and watching a movie with my family or going for a walk in our rain gear, me with my clear birdcage umbrella that reminds me of the one I had as a young girl.
Lately, Linda and I, at The Cridge Respite and Respitality, have been spending time thinking of ideas for things our program parent/s, guardians, or families might like to do throughout the year, some of which we’re hoping we can offer families in the future.

Rainy day activities could include:
• a visit to the library then home to read a book as a family or independently,
• a movie at the theatre, with popcorn of course,
• drop in at your neighbourhood rec centre for a swim where the water is warm,
• have a hot chocolate or a picnic outside at a park shelter and listen to the rain hit the roof,
• try an escape room for the first time,
• be a tourist in your home town,
• spend the night at a local hotel bundled up in a robe,
• visit the museum.
There are a lot of great things to do in our city when it seems like it’s endless rain — try something new, stick with something comfortable, or take time to slow down, relax, and smell the rain!

By Heather Stevens, The Cridge Respitality Services.

To learn more about The Cridge Respitality Services,  please click the link.

The 3rd Monday of January is called “Blue Monday”. The term “Blue Monday” was introduced as a marketing strategy to encourage people to buy winter get-away trips. However, in British Columbia, winter months pose serious challenges for the elderly – lousy weather limits mobility, lack of sunlight and isolation create a stark contrast with the recent holiday season when the family is visiting, days are occupied in planning, shopping, and gift-giving. Our world has changed and now many independent-living seniors can’t rely on the closest neighbour’s fellowship like it was so common before.

We asked our manager of The Cridge Seniors’ Services, Sarah Smith, about the best strategies to overcome the feeling of loneliness and isolation. “Visiting is the biggest thing”, Sarah responded. “They need their families!”

For seniors, it is also about learning how to dance in the storm. Here are some other tips that might help to overcome the January Blues.

1. Talk to your family about it

Sometimes we feel uncomfortable bringing up feelings of sadness and loneliness that we experience. Your family won’t consider it to be a burden and it might make you feel better – the knowledge that you are heard and supported.

2. Connect with others

Consider joining a club or inviting an old friend over for tea. If it is hard for you to get out of the house, consider dialling the number – you might be surprised how much joy comes from a nice old fashioned chat on the phone.

3. Create a list of New Years’ resolutions

Write down your thoughts and wishes – this can make a big difference in how you perceive your life. Your goals don’t have to be grandiose – it can be about a few important things: decide to read a new book every month, drink enough water or make new friends – or perhaps you want to learn a new skill! It is never too late to learn something new and exciting.

4. Make your home safer

Think smart – most of the falls and injuries that occur at home are preventable. Make sure you have a list of all the important phone numbers on your fridge, carry a cell phone with you when going for a walk, keep a working flashlight on the nightstand and make sure that throw rugs are not movable and won’t slip underneath you.

5. Connect with community services

Many seniors choose to volunteer in a local museum or a charity. In Victoria, community centers offer a variety of senior-oriented activities that will help you to connect with peers and brighten up your day. If you are feeling isolated and overwhelmed, you can always reach out to support services like BC211 or call 811. Here are some other support services that make a difference in our community:

Living Life to the Full – is a free, interactive, facilitated 8-week course for youth, adults, and seniors based on the principles of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) that improves resilience, mood, well-being, anxiety, and social support. Available in Chinese, French and English. For more information, call 250-216-4228

Seniors Serving Seniors – is a telephone line that provides comprehensive information and referral to resources for seniors available throughout the region. Office and Senior Link hours are 9 am to 4 pm Monday to Thursday. Dial Senior Link at 250-413-3211

During the holidays, it seems that the whole world is caught up with parties and fun. At this time of year, those who grieve may only be aware of the terrible hole in their hearts and their lives.

Here are some suggestions to help make this holiday season easier to handle. Remember that grieving takes energy, so be realistic with your expectations and allow yourself to choose those activities that are most meaningful to you.

PLAN:  Acknowledge that this holiday will be different. Planning is better than a “wait and see” approach.

• Decide what you can or wish to handle and let family and friends know
• Prepare responses to questions about how you are doing and how to answer greetings
• Decide what traditions will stay the same and what will change
• Consider spending the holiday in a different location
• Take time for your own self-care and take time to grieve
• Give yourself permission to cut back on holiday decorations, preparations and gift-giving

SUGGESTIONS:

• Spend time with people whose company you enjoy, leave an event early, bow out if you need to
• Make a list of things you would appreciate help with, and use it when family and friends ask if you would like some help
• Make a shopping list ahead of time so that you can shop on a “good day.”
• Attend a candlelight memorial service
• Buy a special decoration for the tree in memory of your loved one
• Hang a stocking for your loved one and have family and friends fill it with special memories
• Attend a religious service at a different place or time
• Place a decoration at the gravesite, or decorate a memorial tree
• Consider having dinner at an alternative location or time
• Light a special candle for the table centrepiece in memory of your loved one
• Propose a toast to the memory of your loved one, and invite sharing of memories
• Give a gift in memory of your loved one.

Hopefully, you had a chance to hear the excellent interview on CBC with Candace Stretch on Friday, November 15. Candace spoke eloquently and poignantly about how the current housing crisis in Victoria is impacting women leaving abusive partners.

Following up on Candace’s interview, here is a story about how the housing crisis impacts the women at The Cridge Transition House.

Leslie arrived at The Cridge Transition House on January 13^th. Police referred her when they arrested her partner for assaulting her. She arrived with her two children and 3 suitcases. Her 30-day stay was consumed with working with the justice system, applying for income assistance, trying to comfort her children, and looking for a new home to launch a life without violence for her and her children. All these were daunting tasks but the housing search was by far the most arduous.

Leslie was very optimistic when she started her housing search. Her combined income assistance and child tax benefits would give her a monthly income of $2,500. She started looking at 3-bedroom apartments. She quickly realized that 3 bedroom apartments are scarce and expensive – rents started at $2,400 per month. That would leave her only $100 for food, hydro, bus fare, and all the other essentials. Two-bedroom apartments ranged from $1800 to $2000 – that would be tight but doable. But demand is high and Leslie found herself being rejected in favour of couples and families with higher incomes or better references. Landlords wouldn’t even consider renting a one-bedroom or bachelor suite to a family of 3 no matter how willing Leslie was to fit her family into a small unit.

Leslie’s optimism started giving way to despair.

She applied for subsidized housing and second stage housing only to find out that the waitlists were so long there was no way to know when or if anything would ever come available.

As her 30-day stay in the emergency transition house shelter was rapidly coming to an end, the harsh reality of the housing crisis in Victoria loomed large for Leslie. It was no comfort to hear that the near impossibility of securing safe, affordable housing is the experience of so many women trying to escape the violence in their lives. The Cridge Transition House staff would not put Leslie and her children out on the street. But not being able to move women along into safe housing, means the waitlist just gets longer for women needing to come into the transition house.

Safety, urgency, affordability all highlight the need for quick action for more housing that women on very limited incomes can realistically afford.

The lives of hundreds of women and children are depending on it.