Candace Stretch: Manager of Supportive Housing and Family Services

We have been working with Marianne for several years. When she moved into our housing, she had just left a 20-year abusive relationship and was struggling to overcome the addiction that she had developed as a coping mechanism. There have been many ups and downs on the road to recovery and healing for Marianne, and there were a few times when we weren’t sure that she was going to be able to stick with our program.

Over this past year, Marianne has made significant strides in her journey. She is now connected to a wonderful recovery program and is attending college. Recently, she texted her Dovetail support worker to say: “I love feeling safe and comfortable… you have helped me in my darkest time. Glad you can see the outcome!”

In a week where the latest news out of Syria is that chemical nerve agents appear to have been deployed against a civilian population in the province of Idlib, (with children disproportionately among the dead) it is worth reflecting on the little stories of hope and renewal for the Syrian diaspora in our own backyard. One of these stories involves a large extended refugee family – seven children in all – and their experience of the SAC-SunFun program in the summer of 2017.

When the children first came to The Cridge, they were insular and liked to test boundaries and rules – even to misrepresent their comprehension of English when it suited them!  The SunFun leaders were quick to recognize that their shared experience of trauma and fear in Syria and the refugee camps (combined with their familial and cultural bonds) had made them dependent on each other and wary of outsiders, and set about patiently building relationships of trust with the children. This deliberate effort on the part of the leaders, against the background of daily excursions and adventures with SunFun, bore fruit by the end of the summer. One leader reflects that this period may have been the first time the family had been together under such happy circumstances — in which they were free from fear, relaxed, and at peace. Correspondingly, she watched them blossom into outgoing and humorous characters, eager to spend time with the leaders in particular. The positive attention and affirmation gave the leaders credibility with the children which translated into trust in difficult moments. SAC Coordinator Tim Latour recounts one episode from a trip to Youbou, where the children witnessed Royal Canadian Navy divers practicing dropping from a helicopter into the lake. One of the older girls seemed close to a panic attack, but Tim and another leader were able to reassure them and explain that these were the ‘good guys.’ The seven of them ended the day cheering for the divers from the dock!

The socialization of the children was also promoted through their experience of the program. Leaders noted how their language and communication skills improved over the course of the summer. This development was supported by an ESL instructor coming in several times a week to meet with them at the end of the day in the Childcare building. Whereas at the start of the summer the children would often act out in frustration instead of asking for help or mediation, by the end they were comfortable enough and confident enough to approach the leaders with their needs, wants, and problems.

Perhaps most importantly, the children and their families increasingly came to see Canada as home. One leader recalls playing catch with one of the girls and looking up to see her father at the top of the hill laughing with joy at the spectacle! Another remembers one of the older boys on the drive up to Youbou staring wistfully out the window at sprawling green farmland and stating: ‘One day, I will live here.’ Those leaders who have been lucky enough to be responsible for pickups and drop-offs at Quadra Elementary this school year have been greeted not just with hellos, smiles, and hugs from all the cousins but with the sight of the children continuing to realize they are not just welcome here, they belong here.

In the midst of the horror the headlines out of Syria inundate us with, and our seeming helplessness in the face of the terrible human cost of the ongoing conflict, we can take heart in the fact that The Cridge Centre for the Family quietly goes about making a difference in the lives of some of the most vulnerable victims of that conflagration. Truly, The Cridge community is a place of security, hospitality and care for those who need it most, a place where children and adults alike are encouraged to flourish. It is a place where the love of Jesus Christ is indeed manifest, and seeds of hope are sown in a broken world.

Respectfully submitted,

Simon Teague

School Age Care and SunFun Worker

By Sarah Smith, Manager of Seniors’ Services

Often people put off moving into Assisted Living because of preconceived notions of what it is like, or because of remembered visits to seniors in “nursing homes” and the assumption that they are the same.

The overwhelming response after our resident’s move in is “why didn’t I do this sooner??”

One gentleman, Stuart, had been confined to his apartment for years because it has stairs that he was no longer able to navigate. His mobility had declined and he had gained weight due to the lack of exercise.

In addition, he was lonely. Not being able to get out meant he couldn’t see his friends or family as much as he would like. His days were spent alone with his TV, in slowly declining health.

In spite of these needs, he was very hesitant to move into an “old people’s home” and give up his independence. He thought his movements would be monitored, he’d be treated like a child, and that he wouldn’t want to be friends with any other residents. Finally his family convinced him to put his name on our wait list and he reluctantly moved in.

Since then, he has made friends, is able to navigate our hallways to get exercise and to get out to meals and our recreation programs. He is loving the food, getting the help he needs, and is thriving. His family is shocked by the changes in him and is delighted to see him so happy.

Stuart just stopped me in the hall to say “Why didn’t I do this sooner???”

For more information or to book a tour, call Tina Rogalinski at 250 220 2301 or email trogalinski@cridge.org  Or check out our website and videos here.

The Cridge Transition House for Women brings together women and children from many backgrounds, experiences and life styles. Making it all work is really a leap of faith. It turns out that leaping in faith can have some pretty awesome results.

Not so long ago, a woman staying at the transition really liked to bake in the evenings.  It was how she unwound and processed her day.  At the same time there was a 13 year old boy staying with his mom.  He was doing okay but it was a bit awkward for him, as it often is for older boys, to be living in a house full of women and small children.  One evening our baking resident decided to bake Halloween cookies.  This boy asked her if he could help. She was thrilled to have him join her. They made delicious ghost cookies with purple icing!

Her encouragement of his interest in baking lit a spark! He made a batch of cookies on his own a few days later.  They didn’t turn out as well as he had hoped so he anxiously waited for his baking “mentor” to come home to “debrief” and figure out what went wrong.  Encouraged by her to keep trying, he baked cinnamon buns for everyone one evening while the women were making jewelry in the dining room.  Apparently the cinnamon buns turned out more like doughnuts. (I wouldn’t know because there wasn’t even a crumb left the next day). He was disappointed and asked the women what he could do differently. There was a loud chorus of, “Nothing!” Clearly, no one else was disappointed in the results!  Then everyone started telling him what a bright future he could have if he pursues his interest and talent for cooking.  He was so proud and inspired.

A leap of faith can be magic, bringing together people who didn’t know how much they needed each other!

Yours in faith but alas no cinnamon buns,

Marlene Goley

By Candace Stretch, Manager of Supportive Housing and Family Services

The Cridge Respitality Program is a fantastic example of how the community can come together, with joy, to support families in need.
Each month, 20-30 exhausted parents of children with special needs and mental health challenges get to experience the break of an overnight stay at a beautiful hotel. Making that happen for families is quite a process; one that involves many key players. From the family-serving agencies who refer parents to Respitality, to the hotel partners who generously donate overnight stays, to our team of volunteers who assemble gift baskets for each family, to 2 incredibly passionate staff members who bring it all together —  it is a team effort!
What makes Respitality so special is that everyone who participates feels such joy in being able to give. The testimonials below, from individuals and agencies involved in Respitality in very different ways, reflect the incredible value of this wonderful program.
But, always, the true joy of Respitality is the impact that is has on the life of parents. The restoration, hope and rest that Respitality brings to families is a gift to us all! Read what our partners and families tell us:

A lot of our members love your program.  Keep up the great work and thank the ladies that make up those gift baskets!   — Victoria Society for Children with Autism

Respitality is a great community involvement tool for us. It is great to be able to help out families that are a part of Respitality… and to give back to the community.  — Manager of Bear Mountain Resort

Thank you for the amazing respite you provide.  We got to forget all about our grueling life for a whole magical evening.  — Respitality Parent