by Vicki Melville Bathurst

It was a Canada 150 Celebration, a project to join the generations, the young and the old, to make something that reminded them of being a Canadian. With The Cridge Seniors’ Centre Activity Coordinator,  Alison at the helm, and Nancy as the official quilter, twenty-five grade 4 and 5 students from George Jay Elementary School walked up the hill to The Cridge Centre once a week  this spring  to meet with a group of seniors living at the Centre. Their project was to discover what being a Canadian meant to them. Each was tasked with coming up with their own idea which they would ultimately paint onto a square, to become a part of a quilt.

On their first meetings, the seniors and children poured over books of Canada and spoke about their history. The children were fascinated to hear that many of the seniors were born or came from the Prairies. After pouring over the different books of Canada, they began sketching something that reminded them of what it meant to be Canadian. This was a culturally diverse group of children, some were not born in Canada and a class tally discovered there were 7 different languages spoken in their homes.

For some of these students it would be the first time they had met anyone of the seniors’ generation. I was touched to hear the words “grandma” and “grandpa” being used at the encouragement of the seniors. One student, Mary, independently teamed up with a gentleman for some serious talking. He told me that when he first met her he asked about her parents. When she said that she didn’t have a father, he told her that he lost his own mother when he was 4 years old. That sharing of such an intimate fact made for many long conversations for the two of them as the project continued. Walter, with the gruff voice and “old school” demeanor, worked with the largest group of rambunctious children. It was heartening to watch them all band together around him for farewell pictures at the end of the project.

The final project unveiling included a visit from a camera crew from CTV News and baked goodies from George Jay School. The final 25 quilt squares, one drawn and painted by each student, had been sewn into a quilt and bound with a border of Canadian maple leaves. The students were excited and very proud of their work, and some of them posed by the quilt and were interviewed by the CTV camera crew. “What reminds you of being Canadian?”  the CTV commentator asked. Their answers were varied, only a few the same: A beaver, an orca, the Rocky Mountains, the Pacific Ocean. One child had painted the official flower of Newfoundland where her family came from, another a dream-catcher medicine wheel as recognition of Canada’s First Nations. The words First Nations, Peace and Leadership were painted by another. All of the children received a Certificate of Thank You with their name on it, and everyone sat in front of the quilt for a group photo. The certificate read, “In recognition of your willingness and openness to engage, play and connect with new people!  Your creative energy and kindness will always be remembered.”

This project not only opened up opportunities for inter-generational fun, but it also created a wonderful opportunity for children and seniors alike to catch a glimpse of what it means to be Canadian from the opposite end of the age spectrum. We are so grateful for the teachers and students who joined us in this wonderful project!

By Candace Stretch

On May 7th, many of us who live and work in Cridge housing, gathered to celebrate Neighbour Day. Neighbour Day is a Community Action Project of Leadership Victoria which encourages folks to “meet and greet the people with whom we share our neighbourhood, fences, and walls.” What a wonderful opportunity for us to help our tenants across Cridge programs connect with each other!

At Mary Cridge Manor, the Brain Injury Program and the Cridge Dovetail Program joined forces to host a BBQ for the tenants from both programs. They also invited nearby neighbours to enjoy the festivities. There was a lovely neighbourly atmosphere as tenants enjoyed hot dogs and conversation. We are so proud of the unique community we have created at MCM and Neighbour Day was such a fitting way to celebrate that!

At Hayward Heights, the Dovetail staff joined forces with the Seniors Recreation staff to host a party for Supportive Transitional Housing tenants and Cridge Seniors Village residents. It was a fantastic event! A huge turn-out of seniors, tenants and kids came to enjoy donuts & coffee on the sunny back patio. There was beautiful music, courtesy of the fabulous Victoria Mandolin Orchestra, and tons of fun games and activities for folks of all ages. Even though our tenants live right alongside our seniors, many have not had the opportunity to reach out and get to know each other. It was so special to be able to host an event that fostered these connections- there was a buzz about the event that was truly unique.
Alison, one of the Seniors Recreation staff, shared her observations of the afternoon’s festivities: “‘I only live a few steps away’ was something I heard frequently. It was such a neat feeling of shared space! The seniors have said it was an ‘absolutely great afternoon’, ‘fun’, ‘neat to meet everyone.’ A set of kid sisters that had to go home early said, they ‘wish they could come again next time’. It was truly a heartwarming afternoon.”

Indeed, it was a very special Neighbour Day at The Cridge Centre for the Family. This is a tradition that we would like to continue each year. We are so thankful to the Leadership Victoria team for inviting us to participate in this wonderful initiative!

By Courtenay Meridew

When I accepted a position at The Cridge Centre for the Family as a Support Worker, I had no idea the amount of compassion, community and diversity I would encounter. My first day was filled with friendly coworkers and warm welcomes. My favorite of course being from my supported child, Ben. Ben waved his hand an inch from my face and shouted “hello Courtney!” seconds before giving me a great big hug. This greeting was so enthusiastic and loving, but it also displayed Ben’s delay in social skills, as his diagnosis is Autism.

Key characteristics for Autistic Disorder are “the presence of markedly abnormally or impaired development in social interaction and communication, and a markedly restricted repertoire of activity and interests.” These proved true with Ben as I quickly learned his knowledge of social cues was limited and his repertoire of activities he enjoyed was minimal. Two years ago when Ben and I first started hanging out he had social challenges that would frustrate his classmates. Specifically, personal space and remaining quiet during instructions would agitate the group. Through applying my educational background and experience in combination with Ben’s focus and love for his peers, he soon learned the importance of socialization and boundaries. Don’t get me wrong, you can still hear Ben’s echoing “hello!” down the halls as he greets everyone he passes, but he respects personal bubbles and the need to ask before giving hugs. Like anyone, Ben forgets these “rules” as he calls them, but with gentle reminders, he is able to refocus and present himself as a mature young boy. Having just turned thirteen, these social interactions are more important for Ben than ever before. Tackling his delays in social skills has allowed Ben to engage more with his peers, which ultimately expands his repertoire of activities and interests. Ben has now gained the confidence to play the board game ‘Sorry’ and ‘Go Fish’ with his peers. These games provide the opportunity for Ben to connect with others and express himself more.

The best display of Ben’s progress came during a game we play on the front field, called ‘Trading Post’. In this game the children must collect items they find on the field (for example flowers) and return them to the trading post in exchange for gems. To get gems, their item must have a purpose (for example medicine or clothing). The goal of the game is to collect the most gems and ultimately exchange them for land. I had been hesitant to suggest this game to Ben because it is a complex and chaotic game, that he previously showed no interest in. However, I was wrong to hesitate because any activity can be modified to allow everyone to participate. Ben saw the gems and immediately wanted to be the banker in charge of trading the items. He took on this role with so much enthusiasm. I sat back and observed Ben shouting “this is worth two dollars” and “what is this item for” to his classmates who waited patiently for the verdict on their collected items. Everyone loved his overpriced estimates and his exaggerated movements and voice. This game demonstrated Ben’s progression with his social skills and communication, and his love for inclusion. Being thirteen means Ben will no longer be in the program come September, but I have no doubt he will exceed all expectations in his future.

By Vicki Melville Bathurst

An acquired brain injury is caused from a blow to the head, or a medical issue or illness. An individual does not have to lose consciousness to sustain a brain injury. The numbers and long term effects of brain injury are staggering. It is estimated that up to 1.3 million Canadians are living with an acquired brain injury. It is the number one cause of death and disability in people under the age of 45, and more common than breast cancer, HIV/AIDS, spinal cord injury and multiple sclerosis combined. Divorce rates are estimated to be as high as 90% following a brain injury, 90% of brain injury survivors do not return to work, and approximately half of homeless people in Victoria have had a brain injury.

Since 2015 The Cridge Brain Injury Services has partnered with the University of Victoria to engage with the community around the issues surrounding brain injury through a one day conference called Survive-Strive-Thrive. The woman I interviewed last week, Jessica, works at UVic and helped her boss, Dr. Catherine Mateer, organize the first conference in 2015. With Dr. Mateer’s retirement in 2016, Jessica decided to continue to support the event and has taken it on as her main volunteer project. From setting up the agenda, planning all logistics including catering and the physical set-up of the event, Jessica has become the heart of the conference. For the past two years over 100 people have participated, and as one attendee commented, “It was powerful to listen to individuals who had suffered tremendously speak about acceptance, moving on, having hope for the future and gratitude for their journey.” Past speakers at the conference have included The Honourable Judith Guichon, the Lieutenant Governor of BC who is also a patron of The Cridge Centre for the Family, and Michelle Stillwell (Minister of Social Development) who spoke about her own spinal cord injury at age 17.

When I asked Jessica why she volunteers for this project, she explained that the people she had met through The Cridge Centre for the Family were so warm and welcoming, and the stories she heard at the first event in 2015 were so moving, that she and her husband, Mike, decided that they wanted to get involved. The loss of her father from brain cancer a year later further motivated her to volunteer. In addition to the Conference, Jessica volunteers at Mary Cridge Manor which provides supportive housing for brain injury survivors. She speaks of helping out at a Hot Dog fundraising event in January, where she and Mike watched as the survivors BBQued and spoke with everyone that passed by. The two survivors shared their stories with them throughout the day and she said that she loved hearing about how far they had come with the support of The Cridge Centre for the Family and Cridge Brain Injury Services.

Jessica also tells me the inspiring story of Sara Hansen, an attendee at the conference.  A mother with a full-time job, Sara went into hospital to have surgery for malformed clusters of blood vessels in her brain stem. Expecting only to be in hospital for a few days, Sara spent four months. She is no longer able to work, she is in a wheelchair and on long-term disability. Sara was one of the speakers at the 2016 conference Survive to Thrive: Restoring Life after Brain Injury.  From her wheelchair she spoke about how alone she felt until she came to her first conference. She has now connected with so many other survivors and feels so much more supported. In working at The Cridge Brain Injury Services with staff member Janelle Breese Biagioni, Sara has learned new online technology and has just launched a blog, entitled “Making Lemonade After Brain Injury.” Sara says she wanted to start a blog to show people that life goes on after a trauma, not like it did before, but it does go on. You can find Sara’s blog at www.lemonsandliving.com. Sara said, “I am thrilled to have an outlet that gives my life purpose and meaning. I’m so thankful to Janelle and The Cridge Centre for the Family for helping and supporting me.”

Our volunteer, Jessica, is in the middle of planning for the third conference now. It will be held at UVic’s Bob Wright Centre on Wed. June 7, from 8am to 3.30pm.  It is a free one-day conference about the issues surrounding brain injury. The theme is THRIVING THROUGH FAMILY and admission is free but registration is required (sst@cridge.org).

Click here to learn more about The Cridge Brain Injury Services

With thanks to Vicki for her interviews of some of our amazing volunteers, of which she is one!

By Vicki Melville Bathurst

I met up with The Cridge volunteer moving team at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Instead of the big moving truck and four strong men I had expected, it was Ken in his red Dodge Ram, and John and Donna with their SUV, who waved to me from the loading dock. They tell me they pick up from this store once a month. Sometimes it’s small furniture, but this time large boxes full of bedding or towels, and a box full of children’s hats and gloves was waiting for us. The boxes were all easily transported in the two vehicles. While the paperwork indicated the load came with a large price tag (a tax deduction for the store), the items are priceless to the women and families at The Cridge Transition House for Women, and they are always gratefully received.

The Cridge Transition House for Women and Supportive Transitional Housing are the major benefactors of the moving team’s services. After dropping off the boxes at The Cridge Centre, we drove back out to pick up some bedroom furniture which was being donated by another member of The Cridge family. It was a complete set of bunk beds, dresser drawers and even a matching trunk, so when Irwin joined us with his small truck it was great to have the extra arms and another vehicle to transport the load. A group picture brought out the camaraderie of the four —  I could tell they had done this together many times before, and that they enjoyed each other’s’ company.

On our ride to The Cridge Centre I had time to speak with Ken. He and his core group of about six regulars and four vehicles came to The Cridge through Glad Tidings Church and it’s “Serve our City” program. Intended to be a twice a year community event, once Ken had made it to The Cridge Centre, he knew he wanted to do more. Since then, he’s spent the last few years driving his truck and organizing the moving team. Irwin, John and Donna too, all come from Glad Tidings Church, and between volunteering with the church, and helping out The Cridge, their days are always busy. John and Donna also help out with a village in Africa, and Irwin helps with a local Syrian refugee family. All four are retired but choosing to spend their days in service to others.

Recalling my first thoughts of big muscular men, I asked Donna how she had made it on the moving team. She laughed but quickly pointed out her role was often the most important. As The Cridge Transition House offers a much needed shelter for women escaping domestic violence, Donna’s job is often to comfort the women and children while the men move their belongings. These are the moves that bring out the harshness of life and the reality that women are still needing to escape violence in their homes. And sometimes, figuring out the logistics of that kind of a move are overwhelming – making the service this team provides that much more valuable. Donna pointed out that some of the women are so traumatized they at first avoid the male volunteers completely.

And thank goodness for the moving team!   After we finally figured out how to assemble the new set of bedroom furniture, there were big hugs and thanks from the young woman at the door. This bedroom was for her daughter who would soon be coming to live with her. It is The Cridge Centre for the Family, their staff and the many volunteers who have together helped this young woman leave an abusive relationship and takes steps towards a violence-free life. With the help of so many she has been moved, set up in a new residence, and is on track in getting her life back together.  “Thank goodness,” she whispered to me, “for all the volunteers do. Thank you all so much”.  And yes, it’s also likely that this big “thank you” was all the moving team volunteers needed for a morning well spent.

Click here for more information about The Cridge Transition House for Women or about our Supportive Transitional Housing

With thanks to Vicki for her interviews of some of our amazing volunteers, of which she is one!