For the staff of The Cridge Dovetail Program, offering women a second chance to build a life of security and fulfilment is the cornerstone of the work we do. For many of the women we work with, their time in our supportive housing is the first experience of safety in their entire lives. As a staff, we strive to ensure that we do all we can to make this second chance a success.

We recognize, however, that the pathway these women walk from violence towards safety is rocky, and sometimes completely impassable. The second chance we offer is not always possible for women. For some, it is the economic uncertainty they face: realizing that leaving the abuser means leaving financial security for themselves and their children can lead women back to the relationship. For others, it is the inability to protect their children from the abuser: when courts allow fathers partial custody, many women choose to return to him so that they can protect their kids. And yet for others, it is an addiction, brain injury, or the pull of a new relationship that impacts their journey. When the second chance falls apart, we do all we can to keep the door open. We strive to offer as many second chances as it takes.

Naomi is a mother of 2 sons. Since she left her abusive ex-husband, she has struggled financially. Her abusive ex had access to all of the family finances and the court system was taking forever to act. Coming up with the money to keep her boys clothed, fed and in their after-school activities was a huge challenge. A few months after moving into our housing, Naomi met a man in her ESL class who swept her off her feet. He offered her the love and security that she so desired, and she quickly notified us that she was moving out and into his home. We tried to persuade her to give it more time but the struggles she was experiencing, and the pull of this new “second chance,” was overwhelming.

We decided to keep the door open as wide as we could to Naomi. We stayed in touch and assured her that we would do whatever we could to offer her support if things fell apart. We prayed and prayed for Naomi and her sons. It didn’t take long for Naomi to realize that this new relationship was not the answer. Her new partner’s behaviour was beginning to resemble her ex-husband’s. She was embarrassed and ashamed to admit it, but when she did, we were able to respond to her with understanding and acceptance. By God’s grace, we had a vacant unit and she was able to move back into the program… another second chance!

We know how challenging it is for women like Naomi, and we work and pray for a system that makes it easier for women to embrace their second chance and never look back.

By Candace Stretch, Manager of Supportive Housing & Family Services 

Homelessness in Victoria is a problem. No one would ever say that the number of people living on our streets is acceptable. Rather, politicians, business people and local agencies work hard, speak often and advocate on behalf of the issue in hopes of finding a solution. More housing. More services. More detox beds. More mental health supports. More.

But what if instead of looking for more, we worked towards less? What if instead of spending tax dollars on treating the problem, we worked on preventing the problem? What if vulnerable people and families were supported before they became homeless? What if services were offered that prevented homelessness rather than put a bandaid on the gaping wound of multiple issues of entrenched homelessness? What would preventing homelessness look like? What would preventing homelessness look like to you?

By Joanne Linka, Manager of Communication and Fund Development

The donations and support poured out to Cridge Transition House this Christmas was astounding and made Christmas so special for the women and children who were being sheltered over the holidays.  The heartfelt generosity brought me to tears more than once. In all of the overwhelming, big, gratitude moments, there were also some very special small moments.  In all of the busyness of doing the work and daily living, with Christmas layered on top, I want to tell you about a small moment that took my breath away.

At my own home, I’ve always relished the traditional pictures of kids with Santa displayed prominently on my fridge.  First, it was pictures of my own kids, then grandchildren and the children of my children’s now-adult friends. I don’t know what it is about these pictures – maybe the hopeful, excited faces exuding confidence that they made it to the Nice List and stayed off the Naughty List! Maybe it’s just part of the Christmas magic.  Whatever it is, those pictures cheer me, sustain me, and make me chuckle.

As I rushed through the transition house kitchen on a typically busy December morning, something on the fridge caught my eye.  There was a picture of Santa with two of the little boys currently living at the house, stuck to the fridge door with a magnet.  Knowing these two well, it was amazing in and of itself to see them sitting still long enough to have their picture taken.  But it was sitting with Santa with beaming smiles – the confident Nice List faces – that stopped in my tracks.  Those little faces on the fridge door magically transformed our shelter into a home – a safe place where your child’s picture with Santa belongs.  Like the pictures on my fridge, that picture cheers me, sustains me, and makes me chuckle. And this one reminds me of how blessed I am that a mom who has endured so much, is able to enjoy and share some Christmas magic with me. I wish her many years of a safe, loving home with a fridge covered in Santa pictures.

By Marlene Goley, Manager of The Cridge Transition House for Women

Huh?

Let me explain. Somewhere around Halloween, I start avoiding stores. If there are Christmas decorations up in November, I quickly avert my eyes and grumble under my breath. When people start counting down to Christmas in July (you know who you are!), I roll my eyes. And if I hear one more version of “Let it Snow”, I might just scream.

But I LOVE Christmas. I love the smell of Christmas trees, the twinkling of lights and candles, and seeing our Groundskeeper in his Santa hat waving at the kids in our playground. I love the children’s visits to our seniors, bringing songs and hand-made cards and a healthy dose of childish excitement and innocence. But most of all, I LOVE seeing the pure unadulterated joy of the many people who come to our door with their arms loaded full of gifts for our families. There have been more than just a few tears shed, by generous donors, by our staff and most especially by our families.

Here are a few highlights:

A woman called wanting to find a place to donate on behalf of her family. She wanted their gift to make a difference in our community. By the end of the call, she was weeping with gratitude that she and her family would get to make such an impact in the lives of women leaving abusive relationships. Tears and pure joy!

For the second year in a row, a local family has adopted one of our families and created Christmas for them. Not just gifts, but decorations and wrap, gift cards for restaurants, movies and food, and even treats for the cat – all given with pure joy! And the mom who received this bounty… she cried, she was speechless, and perhaps most importantly, she promised that one day she would do the same for a family in need.

Another family, with a few work friends, pooled together their Christmas bonuses and hit Walmart. Their young children helped to choose items that they thought were most important (Peppa Pig toothpaste ranked high on the list!). Bags and bags of love and care – all given with pure joy!

What an incredible honour it is to see the generosity and the JOY with which it is given. So if you are feeling a bit grinchy, and the glitz and tinny music are getting on your nerves, consider giving some joy to someone who needs it. It will bless you more than you can imagine!

By Joanne Linka, Manager of Communication and Fund Development