From Abuse to Respect

by Marlene Goley

Amber tried for years to leave her abusive husband.  It was so hard. There was never enough money and she needed help with the children.  She returned to her abusive husband again and again.  Child protection workers said Amber could not protect her children from witnessing the abuse she endured at the hands of her husband. Her children were removed and put in foster care.

When child protection told Amber that she would likely never have her children returned to her, Amber decided to fight.  She told her husband she was choosing her children over him and got the legal help she needed to get him to leave and stay away from her.  Then she focused on her children’s needs.  She set up family counselling, individual counselling, and accessed all the support she could to put the pieces of her life back together.  It was all too much for her adolescent son who couldn’t believe that he had seen the end of his mother’s bruised and swollen arms and face.  He repeatedly said that he wanted to stay in foster care.  Amber persevered. Visits increased. Amber set firm expectations about how everyone in their family were to behave and treat each other.  There was a lot of testing.  Amber stayed firm in her resolve.  The result? Last month, Amber and her son went to court, together, to request that the care order be removed.  The judge agreed it was time.  Her son returned home happily.  Amber has her family back and they are all proud of their safe, respectful new life.

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